Growing up, we’re taught manners and discipline. Two things that make a person be more human to others. In schools and at home we’re taught how we’re supposed to sit straight and how sitting in “inappropriate” ways is disrespectful. We’re taught how we’re supposed to speak to others, how we’re not supposed to point fingers at others, the list goes on! Some of us, apparently, were even told to not breathe a certain way!! (Don’t breathe so loudly! … What!?!)
Most of these things we’re taught are actually what make us understand how to be nice to others. Being nice to others is always good, so that’s great! Somewhere along the way, we learn how some people just like not being nice to others some people whose sole purpose in life seems to hurt others. But that’s a topic for another day. What I want to discuss today is how we’ve been taught so many things to be nice to others but hardly have we ever been taught how to be nice to ourselves.
Some might say “You’re obviously supposed to treat yourself well”, but in reality, a lot of us fight with ourselves every day. There are a lot of people who would go around making the world around them happier, those who would tell others to not feel bad about a certain event and make them feel better, but when it comes to themselves, it’s a different story. They talk to themselves as if they are their own enemy, they constantly put themselves down.
If you’ve ever said “I hate myself”, you’ve been here. If you blame yourself for everything that happens to you and to the people around you, you’ve been here. If you stay up at night and think “Why am I like this?”, you’ve been here. You’ve been here for far too long, it’s time you got out.
As kids, we never hated ourselves. We were so happy even when we had no company. It was a time when company would be a bonus but no company wouldn’t hurt. We’d play by ourselves, entertain us somehow. We had such an amazing connection with ourselves! But where did it go? It could be a lot of things, actually. People around you constantly telling you negative things about yourself, you failing at a few things and stopping to believe in yourself, some childhood trauma. It could be anything. Maybe you remember, maybe you’ve already forgotten. But you know what? If you feel like you’re being toxic to yourself, even a little bit, it’s time that you stopped.
Every time you talk to yourself, consciously treat yourself as some person you’ve known for a while but never really got to know. Take an hour out in your day, if you’re very busy, do this when you’re going to bed. Lay down or sit down, get comfortable and talk to yourself. Think about things that make you happy, think about all the good things you’ve done. Become better friends with yourself. But never, not even as a joke, tell yourself that you hate yourself. You wouldn’t do it to someone else, so don’t do it to yourself.
Self hate results in lower self confidence and self esteem, which makes you doubt everything, and hence you overthink which makes things worse. People might tell you overthinking is a skill, but trust me, it’s not. If you think creating realities and obsessing on things is helping you, you’re mistaken. Analyzing things and being careful? That’s great, that’s not over thinking. Over analyzing and being paranoid? That is.
Do this! Fall in love with yourself. Trust me, this may be a difficult process to begin but once you’re in, you’ll understand how amazing things really seem and how much you’ve been missing out on all this time.
I hope this helps, I hope you fall in love with yourself, I hope you find a new best friend and I hope you enjoyed reading this.