You Won’t Understand.

You meet a lot of people in your life. Each one of them tells you a different story and if you’re curious enough, you get to live and feel a part of their lives. I love exploring the world from a different pair of eyes. I like to see why others see the world the way they do. I love understanding why they are who they are and figuring out what made them who they are right now.

There was one of my friends who was very playful and funny when we were kids. She was a prankster. She would do stupid things (prank me) and laugh for the rest of the week. It really annoyed me. I shifted to a different area and we lost touch. Many years later, we met again in college. She had changed completely. She no longer laughed like before. She would talk so seriously. Obviously, the closeness we once had was lost but it felt like she had lost more.

What I’m getting at is that people go through a hell lot of experiences. Things you might not know of. Some might not even show the kind of impact their experiences might have made on them. Their smiles are probably hiding a lot of tears. Their joy is probably hiding a lot of sadness.

One of the boldest assumptions people make is that other people won’t understand what they are going through because they think others might have never experienced what they are going through. While it’s possible that people you talk to might not have been in the exact situation as you, I’m sure there are a lot of people that have experienced whatever you have in at least a pretty similar way. Also, it’s not necessary for someone to actually go through something to understand what you’re going through.

All understanding requires is one person to express and the other person to listen and want to understand. If one person is ready to believe that the other will try their best to understand and if the other person is willing to listen to all you have to say and empathize, trust me, they will. Maybe they won’t feel whatever you do about the situation, maybe they feel it but not at the intensity, but this person will definitely understand you.

There are two messages that I want to give from this post.

  1. When someone wants to share something with you, be all ears and listen. Keep all your opinions for the few minutes aside and just listen. Get out of your shoes, get into theirs. Try to see what color the trees are from their eyes and try to see what the wind feels like in their skin.
  2. When you are sharing something with someone, you need to believe that they want to understand. Believe that they can understand. Never ever tell someone something only to end with “No, you won’t understand”. Not only is it disrespectful and hurtful to someone who might be giving their all to you, but it’s also pretty pointless on your part to tell a story that you didn’t think anyone would understand. Remember, you’re not the only one going through bad times. Everyone has their trips to the dark times and get out of it.

Communication is key. It solves a lot of problems and makes transparency makes any relationship a lot stronger. But communication must be done right.

I hope you enjoyed reading this.

Let me know what you think about this!

2 thoughts on “You Won’t Understand.

  1. Amazing post, Ket!
    Sometimes when people are in distress they believe that they are the only ones in this world facing problems.
    You reflected on it really well.
    We need to be good listeners as well!
    Great insight..


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