When I close my eyes, I see myself waiting outside your house. I see your house the way it was the first time I came over. The dusty roads, the construction of apartments in your block, the car that was so wrongly parked. I feel myself standing there the same way I did that day. Nervous because I’d never been to your place, my nose itching because of all the dust and me sweating because my helmet didn’t allow any ventilation and my shirt was a thick one. I’d assumed it would be cold that morning but of course, the sun was out, bright and shiny!
I waited a few minutes, I wasn’t sure if I should honk because that would disturb all your neighbors and they’d probably start hating me before I could even hope to visit a second time. I couldn’t ring the bell either because I didn’t know which floor you lived on. So I waited, like an awkward idiot, and then it came to my mind that technology existed for a reason. So I called you and your phone, like always, wasn’t reachable. Slightly panicking, I sent an SMS and to my happy surprise, it happened to go through. About ten seconds later, someone unlatched the door and opened it. I kept staring at it hoping it was you and it was.
You came out looking a lot different from what you do normally. Your hair was a mess, your eyeliners were missing, your outfit wasn’t the fancy kind, for once you were wearing something that actually looked normal! PJs and a loose T-shirt. Yet, you looked beautiful. Your eyes still made my mind calm. Your smile still made my body warm. You. You made me feel comfortable again.
Your parents were home and we weren’t very comfortable hugging around them. I wanted a hug so bad though, you always give the best ones. They make me feel so good. It’s as if a warm blanket is wrapped around you on a cold winter morning but it’s also as if the blanket was whispering into your ears that everything is always going to be alright and assuring you that no matter what happens, it would be around me.
Thank you, Warm Blanket, for everything.
PS.
I wrote this when I missed a really special friend of mine. While writing this, and even now, I feel so much love for her. A younger me always mapped falling in love with being in a relationship but the me who wrote this understands how loving someone doesn’t mean you need to be in a special tagged relationship with them. You share a strong bond, there’s so much understanding, there’s so much transparency and there’s a want to give more than you take. To give whatever is in your capacity and sometimes even that which is not.
An additional note.
As much as typing this hurts now and reading this later will, people may not stay with you forever but memories will. You’ve got so much from special people, let them go and make someone else’s life special now. But also, right now, stop worrying about whether or not the people will stay in your life and cherish your every moment with them.
So goodโค๏ธ
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Thank you, Frost :’)
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This was such a beautiful read! Glad you had such a special close relationship together ๐
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I’m glad too! ๐
Thank you so much, Tom. You’re always amongst the first few to give feedback to me and it means so much to me :’)
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Too good… โ๏ธ
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Thank you so much for reading ๐
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Such a sweet and genuine post. It’s always heartwarming to read something as sincere and heartfelt as this. I have a few nitpicks. There are some tense problems:
E.g I see your house the way it was the first time Iโd come over.
It should be “I came over” because of the past tense.
“Slightly panicking now” should also be changed to past tense.
“You came out looking nothing a lot different from what you do normally”, maybe try rephrasing? Perhaps something more along the lines of you came out not looking different from what you normally do.
Other than that I really enjoyed it. Don’t be afraid to write personal stories like this. They’re always the best one :).
https://onlyindreamssite.wordpress.com
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Hey!
Thanks a lot! I need more of this. It’s so hard for one to see their own mistakes and also, I’d love to learn how I could write better this way. So please feel welcomed to always tell me if you see anything on my post that could be made better ๐
I went through your blog and I couldn’t read all of them immediately so I picked the one that seemed the most interesting to me (It was a very difficult decision).
What an amazing post that was, I’ve left my thoughts behind as a comment! ๐
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That additional note. I imagine that wasn’t easy to write but the more o read the posts you’ve written over a year, I can see so much personal growth and that is beautiful.
Also, this feeling, that hug, was so pure โค๏ธ
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You’ve been supporting me from the time you’ve come across my blog. I’m truly grateful for that. Thank you so much.
I can’t tell you how pure and nice it really is. :’)
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It’s so heart touching..This is relatable for me…truly…the way you described that warm blanket was wonderful!!…And thanks for those last notes…the made me feel a bit motivated.
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Thank you so much for reading those.
I’m glad I motivated you! It’s something I’ve learnt over time and I really think it’s a very valuable lesson.
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So beautiful and heartfelt. I loved the way you described the wait. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to write this…Great job, though.
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Thank you so much for reading i! :’)
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My pleasure! Enjoyed it.
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